NoTrollPlzNet Library
Established 1800 with the support of
Troll-Free-Gov (wmcso)
as Troll-Free-Library
Founder Foxy
Statistics
Books 160,775,469 (2013)
Online articles 3.6 million
Management
Operated by NoTrollPlzNet, Inc.
Supreme Librarian Foxy
Employees est. 2.3 million (2013)

NoTrollPlzNet Library

The NoTrollPlzNet Library (officially titled the People's Knowledgebase; also referred to as the library, notroll library, or /paranoia/ when referring to the web division) is the official library operated and managed by NoTrollPlzNet, Inc. The library is well known around the world due to its exquisite beauty and remarkable size. With 160,775,469 books in 2008, it has remained the largest library in the world by both number of books and shelf space since its initial stocking in early 1801.[1] The NoTrollPlzNet Library houses more historical documents and artifacts than any other library in the world,[2] dating back to before humans were smart enough to date things (assuming humans even existed at the time).

The library likely earned its popularity from Foxy, the Supreme Librarian and head of the facility. An accomplished politician and well-known fashion model, she is unarguably fully responsible for the library's success and boasts to be the single reason that the library continues to thrive to this day despite the world's shift to the Internet. Foxy founded the library in 1800 and still oversees its daily operations.

Recent studies indicate that the library is the most visited facility of its kind on the globe.[3] While many replications of the library close as their visitors lose interest (likely due to the widespread availability of the Internet),[4] the NoTrollPlzNet Library's traffic has continued to increase with each year since its founding.[5]

History

Kim-Jong-il.jpg
Kim Jong-il, lifelong friend of Foxy, arranged for the library construction to be financed.
library_construction.jpg
Construction of the library (1800)

NoTrollPlzNet Library, originally named Troll-Free-Library, was built singlehandedly by Foxy with a $60,000,000,000 grant from the Chinese Government. The finances were donated by request of Kim Jong-il, former Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and one of Foxy's dearest friends.[6] Kim was granted this favor as a token of gratitude by the Chinese for his outstanding efforts in building nuclear weapons capable of reaching the United States from East Asia.

The construction of the library lasted a mere two weeks, likely due to Foxy's skills in carpentry and surreal muscular capabilities. The building has been described by experts as "truly brilliant, the definition of architectural elegance."[7] Although it is very easily navigable by following the oval-shaped Grand Corridor, it is said that the library's secret passages and hidden rooms (the locations of which are publicly unknown) nearly double its square footage. This allows privacy in areas such as Foxy's hangout (shown below).

Kim Jong-il first visited the library in 1858. Surprised by how beautifully the library appeared with such a limited budget, he returned to the DPRK and built an even larger, more expensive library.[8] This action has been criticized to have been the cause of the North Korean famine.[9][10][11] However, the size of the NoTrollPlzNet Library has more than quadrupled since the time of its construction, and today it outshines the national library of the DPRK (not to mention, the rest of the libraries in the world as well) by a landslide.

DPRK_GPSH.jpg
Grand People's Study House, the national library in Pyongyang, DPRK, which was inspired by the NoTrollPlzNet Library
1799 $60 billion donated by China for construction by request of Foxy's dear friend, Kim Jong-il.
1800 Library construction begins, led by Foxy.
1800 By August, construction was complete with furnishings in place.
1801 Over 8 million works were placed on shelves by 1801.
1829 To celebrate financial success, a new east wing was constructed.
1831 West wing constructed.
1834 Reconstructed interior to be modernized.
1839 New south wing added.
1843 Exterior redesigned to be "monumental," uplifted with over 200,000 tons of marble.
1900 The library surpasses 100 million books on its shelves, the first library to do so.
1901 Kim Jong-il donates a large sum of uranium to the library's research scientific organization in celebration of 100 years of success.
2001 NoTrollPlzNet Library celebrates its bicintennial, dubbed "the party of the century".
2011 Kim Jong-il is buried in the NoTrollPlzNet Library Cemetery. An estimated 30 million attended to mourn his death.
2013 Interior remodeled by Foxy Interior Design and Furnishings, Inc.
2014 Kim Jong-un joins Foxy and other senior staff for dinner at the library.
2015 Foxy awards Kim Jong-un an honorary doctorate from NoTrollPlzNet Library University.

Statistics

NoTrollPlzNet Library houses 160,775,469 books.[12]

NoTrollPlzNet Library's online division hosts 3.6 million articles.[13]

Management and Employment

foxy-2014-shoot-1.png
Foxy, Supreme Librarian

Today, the NoTrollPlzNet Library is managed by NoTrollPlzNet and is governed by a management board alongside Foxy. Foxy is the Supreme Librarian; however, the library has a team of over one hundred additional librarians,[14] each in charge of his or her own category or theme of media. This seemingly large number of staff makes up only a very small portion of the library's workers, as many others have low-end occupations here. Librarians are considered to be the top of the library's social ladder and earn an average yearly salary of $250,000.[15]

foxy_hangout.jpg
Rare glimpse of Foxy's hangout, one of the many hidden rooms accessible only via secret passageways.

Foxy herself has described the library as her "second home,"[16] claiming that the library is the focal point of all of the world's knowledge. She enjoys coffee while reading in her personal lounge, referred to as "the hangout." Other high-end officials also possess their own study rooms. Since the library's opening in August of 1800, Foxy has been awarded the Employee of the Month award 2,550 consecutive times.[17] She has formally announced her gratitude toward the library's workforce, stating that the library would be nothing without the est. 2.3 million honorable employees who live up to its glorious name.[18]

the_crew.jpg
A group of members from the library management crew

The library system is a government within itself, consisting of a management board, elected officials, and other branches. The members of the management board often refer to the board as "the crew." Major decisions must be approved by the management board and may also be vetoed by Foxy.[19]

The library sponsors a program which aims to provide jobs for those in need.[20] At least one hundred new positions are created each year, making room for even more employees. Excluding natives of Mexico and Italy, NoTrollPlzNet Library has received several awards for a wide diversity of employees.[21] However, in 1994 the library was criticized for denying employees of the LGBT Community.[22] Foxy responded to this claim by publicly announcing that, "Although I am a member of SSSS community, I understand that not everyone is as fortunate, and NoTrollPlzNet would never criticize an individual for his or her beliefs or disorders." She labeled the criticism "a false observation."[23]

Facility

library_top.jpg
Aerial view of the primary building
library_hall.jpg
The People's Hall

The NoTrollPlzNet Library is a famous global icon, known for its impressive beauty, design, and architecture. Although it has been renovated multiple times throughout its course, it maintains an old-style feel. Foxy has described the facility as "the way a library should look."[24] Consisting mainly of thousands of tons of marble, it is also considered one of the world's most valuable buildings.[25] The building's design is currently managed by Foxy Interior Design and Furnishings, Inc. and recently was uplifted by an interior remodeling. Futher plans have been made to modernize the facility's interior.[26]